The Root Of Self Love

Self: a person’s essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action.

Love: an intense feeling of deep affection.

Self-love: regard for one’s own well-being and happiness

How do you apply self-love?

Is it that bath full of essential oils surrounded by candlelight? Or treating yourself to that item of clothing you’ve had your eye on for a while? Maybe it’s stocking up your cupboard with healthy goodies such as your Ancient & Brave bundles? Or do you never really have the time for anything?

When you digest the definition of self-love, do you reflect on your essential being before applying them? Time is always of the essence with us human beings, which sees us simply reach for what we’ve been told is good for us. But is it really good for you at that moment, or is it just a sticking plaster to block you from forming deeper affection for yourself? For many of the women I support, although they are desperate to feel love, their love is always directed towards others (which is what we’ve all been educated to do regarding love. Love is the energy you direct to another, not yourself). And the thought of receiving this love they desperately crave is too much, so they push it away and therefore that understanding of what they truly need. But how can you receive love when you don’t know how to love yourself?

Investing into yourself

When was the last time you reflected on your essential being to feel all your feels and understand your needs?

Time for yourself doesn’t create money, a car, or that job you’re desperate to get. It also takes time that you've been told you don’t have. That’s why investing in yourself is such a powerful choice and a choice you were never educated to understand, therefore you have no sense of autonomy towards it. So when we start this adventure of responsibility to our needs, it can appear as a gaping hole of overwhelm and confusion: where do I start? What do I do?

It takes an unravelling to reveal how your body is feeling and the impact this has on every system within it.

And this is the scary thing; if I find out what I need, will my life change? Will I have to start all over again? I don’t know if I have it in me to do this? Self-love is an emotional investment that brings up so much from the past that it’s easier to distract ourselves from it. Buying something to cover ourselves up (such as clothing), fills that time and keeps us distracted from what’s going on under the skin. 

Checking in with your emotions

Do you want to know what’s really going on under your skin? To elevate your self-love to the next level of consciousness?

When we create time solely for our wellbeing, we open the door to all our emotions that allows us to understand our essential being and find the balm to our senses. I’m passionate about women owning their right to feel who they are through the power of their bodies, and this always starts with the breaking down of their defences that they’ve carried for such a long time. Defences they didn’t even know they had! It starts with a crack that rattles them and then when the trust has been built, they truly soften into this expression where they finally feel what it is to be a woman. What it is they need. What it is they really want. This is where they start collecting their gold via tools and support that works for them, not what they’ve been told is good for them.

Giving yourself the gift of time

Giving a woman time is the greatest gift. A gift that is heartfelt, comforting and revitalising to her soul. Time is something a woman never really gives to herself and yet it’s something she desperately needs to support a healthy nervous system and menstrual cycle. When she doesn’t create time for herself, she robs herself of this vital energy that serves both systems, creating symptoms that cause her discomfort. All she needs is time to herself to do what her essential being calls for and she can reset every part of herself for long term health and wellbeing. True Self Love.

Nourishing yourself

Do you feel it’s time to take your self-care and self-love to another level? A deeper level of nourishment? As we evolve as humans, there is a natural call inwards that can reveal such gold regarding our evolution. And we go through many evolutionary transitions as a woman; travelling through menstruation, per-imenopause and menopause into our glory, wisdom and confidence. But how do you do that when you’ve been educated that this phase of life is arduous and a time that is unimportant and shouldn’t be spoken of? This can impact our self-love and the way we approach it.

Your own Cacao Ceremony

I want to share with you a ritual that inspires that deeper sense of knowing, and one that many of the women that come to me to elevate their health find so much gold from.

You start by creating a comfort bubble for yourself, ensuring you are alone. 

Make yourself a Cacao + Collagen drink, ceremonially. What I mean by this is to take your time. Choose your best mug. Maybe add your adaptogens or nut butter. Make it a BIG thing. An offering to you.

Bring your drink to your space with anything else that makes you happy; this could be paper and pens, music, essential oils… Whatever it is, bring it to your comfort zone.

Take your time as you sip your drink and tune into the feelings and sensations that arise whilst doing so; the feeling of heat in your hands holding the mug or the heat in your tummy as you drink it. Take your time……… And then see what it is you want to do in your comfort zone. Perhaps after collecting all the items that make you happy, you simply want to sit and listen to nothing. Maybe you find yourself doodling with pen and paper. Maybe, maybe, maybe…….. Only when you feel ready to, you move from your comfort zone, do you.

This practice opens up that communication of what true self love means to you and the tools that work for YOU. Because you are unique and deserve the love you have flowing within you.

Big love

Abi x

If you have any questions or would like to offer your reflections from this post, please contact Abi on abi@abiadams.co.uk or join her on her next Prøject Wøman gathering.